Back Home
When I was fifteen
I went to my first sleepover
A bit old for that rite of passage, sure
But I was excited for it
For so long, I'd wanted to fit in
And back then it seemed like the perfect opportunity
I could play games and eat junk food and stay up late into the early morning
Talk about boys and--and, well, whatever else girls talk about
But of course, before any of that, my parents had to drop me off
And they gave me the spiel, I'm sure at least some of you know it
Don't drink or do drugs and definitely don't do both together
Keep your wits about you and don't get murdered
And at any point you can call us and we'll come bring you home
When I was eighteen
I went to college
In-state cause I was trying to save money
But still a few hundred miles away from the city where I was borned and raised
It was still the middle of the pandemic, and sure, I was lonely
Unable to go out and party
Or, you know, do much of anything
And on the first call back to my parents, they gave me the usual spiel
Don't drink or do drugs and definitely don't do both together
Keep your wits about you and don't get murdered
And at any point you can call us and we'll come bring you home
Well, I'm back in town now
Sleeping in my childhood room
With what friends I have left from high school
And my older siblings come over once a week
And my parents, well, they're the same as always
Cause some things never change
And now, I want to ask them
Will you do as you promised?
Can you bring me home?
I feel like a puzzle with some pieces missing
Tossed out along the way while I was so busy looking for a frame
Trying to arrange myself into the shape I thought I should be
Not satisfied with the idea that I'm just me
Cause my being should be bigger than this body
That's what I keep being told--that I need to be beautiful and smart and bold
And maybe I am all those things
At least I try to be
But what does it matter if I can't find my way back home?
Cause I'm in the space
I'm in the place
The same house I was literally born in
With the same people who were there when it happened
And I don't know who to ask anymore
Who can I go to for the answer?
If I'm not there already, where do I go?
How do I get back home?
